love your suffering.

I have been teaching and experiencing a lot around impermanence, control, fear and resistance lately, while exploring (of course) the alternative to those experiences as well: love, acceptance, grace, openness. 


I say 'alternative' instead of 'opposite' here deliberately, for it is not the opposite of fear to be open and accepting, but a choice and way of being that takes us above the split between right and wrong, good and bad.

Fear is not on one end and love on the other, for love is the basis and the wholeness of all that is beyond anything the mind can comprehend, and cannot be opposite to anything. It is the formative essence of the universe. Our heads cannot understand real love, for real love lives in the heart and the soul, while fear dominates the mind. The mind is too small to fully understand love. 

The reason it is important that we not think of fear and love as being opposing things is because in real healing and growth, learning to love our fear is a key thing, and if they truly were 'against' each other in some kind of polar placement, how could this be? 

In any system where there are dualities perceived--good/bad, up/down, right/wrong--you cannot have both at the same time, just as you cannot be going up at the same time as you're going down (save for M.C.Escher, who circumnavigated the rules of the game in more ways than one). 

We could not, therefore, have love and fear at the same time if this were true. 


But it is entirely possible to do so. We can learn to love our fear (and our anger and our sadness and every other emotion we attempt to push away) if we choose to do so. We can condition our minds through alignment with our souls and hearts and come to see 'unpleasant' emotions as something holding great wisdom within it, not something to avoid or condemn. We can move towards our suffering, in whatever form it takes, and seek to understand it more and all it has to offer. We can recondition ourselves to love it all, moving back towards the state in which we were born into this world:

open, curious, full of grace, empathetic & loving. 


This practice doesn't ever mean that we remove suffering--we will always be challenged by life, things will always end and we will all pass away from this place eventually--but that we begin to envelope and color our experience with the lightness of love and acceptance instead of continually shutting ourselves down with the restrictive qualities of aversion and fear. 

We choose, consciously, to allow life to open and wake us up all the time, no matter what. 


And with this, we become happy, loving, enlightened beings.