So I had an art show last night.
It really happened. That thing, that thing that I have been wanting to do forever but have been too scared to really put myself out there, too consumed by my rather insane perfectionism to allow myself to be exposed in such a way: that thing happened.
And unless everyone was just being super kind and pacifying because they felt they had to (which I'm pretty sure that many people couldn't have coordinated so well), I would say that it was pretty well received. It was a wonderful night, full of amazing people and fantastic conversation, and basically two solid hours of being loved by my community and applauded for what I had created.
Nice times, to say the least. And nice not just because it felt so good to have positive feedback, but also for the growth potential within it for me borne through the process of finally presenting my creations to the outside world.
A friend once said to me that you should be at least a little bit scared (or probably a lot) and a little bit unsure of yourself when you're putting something out into the big ol' world void, otherwise you're not stretching yourself enough to be growing through the experience.
Last night was that for me, definitely, but then also this really beautiful experience in going beyond my fear-based boundaries of self and placing some faith in the fact that whatever is within me--my creative impulse and basic nature--needs to get out. I found out that if creation is presented with the motivation to just express oneself behind it (as opposed to doing this work to win people over, receive applause, to make big money...or just to be super cool) it is bound to be well received.
In fact I'm certain of it, and that this applies to everyone on this planet:
If you're doing what your soul is crying out to do, it will always, always, always be appreciated.
....and then the other amazing thing that I'm noticing, just by the bizarre and immediate desire that presented itself this morning to make more art, is that:
the more freedom you make in the way you express yourself--breaking down fear-based barriers and judgement--the more freedom and creative impulse you will have.
These are things I have known, and things I have experienced firsthand in other areas of my life, but I wonder if perhaps those areas were not maybe as integral to my core self as art and (I'm assuming) music are, and so I didn't feel this immediate surge of space, excitement, and possibility as I do right now.
(Actually, that's not entirely true: the only area where I notice the same expansion of energy and increase in inspiration when I do more of it is healing, where I can literally feel myself 'building up' energy that needs to be released out if I don't see clients frequently. But it's kinda different.)
Today I am feeling more inspired and energized, excited about the work I get to do and the possibilities of my creative endeavours. I am inspired by the space that going beyond fear creates, and excited for all the upcoming opportunities to challenge those areas of my being.
And so I would suggest that perhaps today--in anticipation of the lunar eclipse set to happen tomorrow, bringing a blood moon that portends times of change and redirection and potential upheaval--we all ask ourselves where we are choosing to live a little or a lot smaller than we could be; where we are restricting our expression and self our of a fear of approval. And then once we see those places and experiences for what they are, how about we all leap into our discomfort and see it for what it really is? Nothing but a barrier to freedom..