I've got an itch to be a pain the ass and stir some stuff up lately. I came across this quote somewhere on the inter webs and it made me feel so good, and spoke directly to the kind and style of writing that I really want to be engaged in.
Sometimes I feel far too timid and well-disciplined to say exactly what it is that's on my mind, whilst also far too Canadian and polite in my desires to never offend a single soul. Even while writing on here--my platform, my art--I cut corners on my attitudes and perspectives, thinking that perhaps passively pleasing all is a better way than stoking the fires of some and pissing off others.
But when we are all so asleep at the wheel, so numbed out to the banality and stupefying pointlessness of our existences--those that are void of creativity, deep and abiding love, connection, humor, beauty, compassion and countless other higher-level human experiences--is it not a very valid form of compassion to say what it is that needs to be said so that one awakens from the dream/nightmare/slumber, even if it's a painful awakening? (and it's always a painful awakening…). I want to write like that.
I want to write of the failure of the human species and our society right now, but to do so in a way that somehow still conveys the faith and trust that I have in the perfection of our collective process; that we are able to hold those two polarities at once (of being completely messed up and yet absolutely fantastically right on), and that the path to non-duality and a larger scope of existence is in fact beyond that dichotomous spread.
I want to write of inequality and injustice, but in a way that still speaks to basic goodness and the knowing that all people are doing the best they can in every moment, given what it is that has come before for them. Again, I seek to stretch those polarities and find the emergent property that exists beyond our limited third dimension: that something can be both right and wrong all at the same time, no matter the circumstance.
I want to write of fear and war and environmental destruction, and shake the slumbering masses through a drawing of attention to the travesties and abuse we are inflicting upon this world, but to do so in a way that does not cause us to shove our heads further in the sand. To explore the devastation in a manner that speaks to our hearts and our souls, and that encourages us to open more to the pain, not shut down out of powerlessness or apathy.
I want to write things that make all people feel so good, and yet so totally unsettled by their lack of attention to their own processes. I want to pen a simultaneous confirmation and shaking of the foundations of their existence: Yes, you are wonderful, and perfect, and absolutely necessary to the whole, but holy shit….be a kind human, and deal with your shit.
I am, often these days, teetering on a ledge looking over an abyss of darkness. Down below I can see all the species we are losing being sucked away, all the trees and the oceans and the people and the meaning, whisked away mindlessly in our cancerous march towards total annihilation of the whole. I know that darkness is always balanced by light, no matter what, and trust that this abyss appears in perfect balance to all the beauty that is being born at the same time, but it is a challenge to not get entirely bogged down by the sadness of what is, right now. One way or another this darkness has to give, but what is that going to look like?
I want this world to be what I know it could, and would love to see that happen without much more loss and pain. How far are we going to push this?
The greatest form of action and anarchy that any of us can engage with right now is to love ourselves, and to love all those that surround us. I want to write something that speaks to that.