this time it's for real.

I can't believe how fast time goes sometimes.

Has it really been a couple months since I was last on here? And even another month or so beyond that where I was diligently applying myself to this blogging thing?

Geezus. That's an impressive amount of negligence. Apparently I've been too busy swimming and eating lovely food and having amazing times to care much about ranting about the world. 

But oh it has been a magical summer. Probably my most favorite of all time. The amount of fantastic memories I've crammed into some 75 days of relative worklessness is staggering, making the rapid passing of time seem that much more insane: how did all that get fit in there…? 

My negligence aside, the last couple months have taught me wonderful lessons both in gardening and on the practice of just being. Of allowing my life and my work to exist in a state of okay-ness just as it is, stepping back just momentarily from my incessant drive towards greater states of expression, more career development, more personal development, more sociological development, more goddamn development development…bahh.

I think I finally listen to the incessant admonishments of my Mother, who has so often declared to me: ENOUGH, Ciel. Just let it be.

 And so I did. I have. I really have. I have allowed myself to just be, and the world to just be, for pretty much the entirety of the last two months. I have pulled myself back (rather unwillingly at first, if I am to be honest) from the want for change or fixing of things and systems, and have become immersed completely in the blissful experience of just having things be what they are.

But you know what the best part of this is? That somehow, somewhere in all that letting and be-ing and allowing stuff was the revelation that one can--and must--work to create in the world from that place of everything-be-okay, and that work done from this place (instead of the gottachangeit neurosis that I so often and so easily slide into) is both more fun AND more effective. 

Go figure. 

So now I'm back in this, and feel inspired to do this work in a way that I never fully understood before, and this perspective fills me with a sense of optimism and possibility far surpassing what was before. Had somebody told me (err…maybe they did already sometime?) that what I had to do in order to get super jazzed about healing was drink a bunch of wine in the sunshine with people I love, I would have laughed and promptly shoulder-checked them out of the way (I might have done this already as well), barreling along towards my own myopic end goal. But it really does--and did--work. And so onwards we go. This is going to be an excellent (though chaotic…oh yes, it's coming folks) fall and winter.